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Why should guys stay single?

Sunday, October 17, 2010 , Posted by Jz at 12:05 AM

Professor Jack has made a post about why should girls stay single that explains why guys suck nowadays (click). After reading it, a friend of his actually asked him to write about why should guys stay single as well. The time, however, is a little bit rush for him, so he didn’t conduct a statistical research like last time. Anyway, still, he has come to a conclusion:

 

Girls do not match the guys.

 

Who said so? This guy.

 

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Yes, Professor Jack.

 

According to him, for a girl to match a guy, she must reach a few general requirements which might be different for guy to guy, stated below:

 

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1- She must be pretty

 

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Remember, this is ULTIMATELY important. Every guy wants his girl to be pretty, not only for the watching purpose of himself, it’s also for showing his ‘achievement’ around.

But of course, whether the guy himself is good looking or not doesn’t matter lah.

 

2- She must be in right figure

 

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It actually means you girls cannot be fat, or look like a set of bones. The reason is pretty much the same as the number one requirement, and this comes after the face because guys won’t even look at a girl’s body when she doesn’t have an acceptable face.

But of course, whether the guys themselves look like a pig or a living skeleton doesn’t matter lah.

 

 

3- She must have big boobs

 

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Although this is listed as ‘3’, it’s very important as well. Many hypothesises have been made regarding the factors contributed to this, but none of them is scientifically proven yet. Probably because deep in the heart of guys, they actually hope that they have a set of boobs as well.

But of course, whether the guys themselves have six packs or not doesn’t matter lah.

 

 

4- Her height must match the guy

 

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After the first 3, the girls must have the perfect appearance already, but still we have the height problem. If the girl is too short, the guy scares others will laugh at the big difference; if the girl is too tall, the guy scares to be laughed as well. So the girl must be approximately 6-10 cm shorter than the guy after considerate that the girl needs to wear heels sometimes.

But of course, whether the guys are the ones who are too tall / short or the girls doesn’t matter lah.

 

 

5- Preferable if not too outgoing / quiet

 

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Physical appearance is not enough for the girls to match the guys, the girl must also not be too outgoing / quiet. If a girl goes clubbing too often, fails, too outgoing guys have no confidence on her. If a girl goes too much library, fails as well, guys think it’s too dumb and boring.

But of course, whether the guys themselves are the morons who only know playing games or go clubbing 4 times a week doesn’t matter lah.

 

 

6- Preferable if not smoking / drinking

 

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Both drinking and smoking is no good for health, ahem, and most importantly the guy would be ‘faceless’ for having a girl who smokes and drinks.

But of course, whether the guys themselves drink or smoke or both also doesn’t matter lah.

 

 

7- Must not wear too sexy / hot

 

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When a guy has a girlfriend, the girlfriend cannot wear too sexy because the guy loves her soooo much and doesn’t want to share her ‘sexiness’ with other guys.

But of course, whether the guys like to share the ‘sexiness’ of other girls or not doesn’t matter lah .

 

 

8- Preferable if have less / no ex(s)

 

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Guys definitely don’t like it when they have a girl with a bus of ex’es, the ‘hey, I was in a relationship with your girl’ is nothing different than ‘hey, you’re wearing my old sock’ for them.

But of course, whether the guys themselves are the 10th hand or 20th hand old socks doesn’t matter lah.

 

 

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You see, it’s really hard to find a girl who fulfils the requirements above nowadays, so how are the girls going to match with the guys? However, there is one thing the Professor Jack couldn’t understand:

 

Why don’t the guys fucking buy a fucking mirror and fucking look at their fucking face before coming up with these requirements?

 

So you guys should really stop complaining after all.

 

Anyway, hope guys out there didn’t get offended by this post, which you shouldn’t, if you’re a good guy, like me. LMFAO!

Currently have 4 comments:

  1. Jeeney says:

    I met the requirements!:P But some guys are just not matched. OPS :D

  1. Jz says:

    You must understand not all the guys are like, ahem, me, ahem ahem. HAHA

  1. Jessica Liu says:

    now i understand y u r still single~~ totally understand... PROFESSOR JACK!

  1. Anonymous says:

    Girls are not born to suit for guys :) and some how, it's not like girls like it when boys have lots of ex. It's just the matter of how much you are able to accept your girl as who she is and love her without condition. Somehow, that contributes to the factor of increasing number in homosexual :)