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How to know the price of your girlfriend / boyfriend

Tuesday, August 17, 2010 , Posted by Jz at 3:18 AM

It’s almost 3am in the morning and you guess what I’m doing,

 

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Holy crap! You didn’t see me wrong nor I was bluffing you like your mum said she would buy you a lollipop if you study.

 

It’s just that all the girls people have already gone offline and I guess it’s the time for me to utilise the textbooks as I spent bucks on em and now they’re still looking so new like they can be put back to sell anytime.

 

But then, I just cannot continue anymore after a whole damn chapter of Marketing. What should I say? Dumbasses people write dumbasses stuffs? Why are all the textbooks trying to make simple theories or definitions or shits into complicated ones with shitload of grandmother stories?

 

Why don’t you just give me point form God damn it!

 

Okay, enough of complains about the retarded textbooks, back to the title. Somehow I ran into a formula about how to calculate your girlfriend price on Facebook, it’s in Chinese so I went through all the way to translate it, okay, we all know not really, Google Translate did most of the part LMAO.

 

Girlfriend Price Calculation

 

So every girl starts with  1,000 bucks


Taller than 168cm, every 1cm +100 bucks


Height less than 160cm, each 1cm -100 bucks

 

Have dimple +100


Long hair +150 yuan


Know dancing +100 bucks


Know singing +100 bucks


Exaggerated dressing –200 bucks


Breast size A-B –100 bucks, C-D +200 bucks 

 

Weight over 55 kilograms, –100 bucks per 10kg

 
Weight less than 50 kilograms, –100 bucks per 10kg

 
Myopia, more than 300 degrees, –100 bucks per 100 degrees


Single / fold eyelid +50 bucks +100 bucks 


Got dumped –100 bucks/time, dumped others +100 bucks/time

 
Never fell in love +100 bucks 

First kiss was you +300 bucks


First kiss wasn’t you –200 bucks

 

First XX partner was you +500 bucks

 

First XX partner wasn’t you –400 bucks


First love was you +300 bucks


More than 22 years old, –100 bucks/year

 
Illness –100 bucks/illness


Swim +100 bucks


Do not gamble +100 bucks

 
Do not drink alcohol +100 bucks

 
Outstanding achievements +200 bucks


Respect the elderly + 100 bucks


Like sewing +100 bucks

 
Not vain  +200 bucks


Love alcoholic -200 bucks


Smoking -200 bucks


Love to use foul language –300 bucks


Love dyeing -100 bucks


Love pets +100 bucks

 

Love flowers +100 bucks

 

Love children +100 bucks

 

Know cooking +300 bucks

 

Polite and gentle +100 bucks

 

Naive, bad tempered –200 bucks

 

Tell you she misses you +100 bucks

 

Heart talk with you +100 bucks

 

Distance with other guys +200 bucks

Care of you +100 bucks

 

Do not disturb your personal life +100 bucks

 

Want you to spend money on them –200 bucks

 

Like to buy things or hand make things to you +100 bucks

 

Care about your work or study +200 bucks

 

Dress in the way you like +100 bucks

 

No laundry / housework –200 bucks

 

Scold you in front of friends –200 bucks

 

Always want to break up –100 bucks

 

Quarrel for small stuffs –200 bucks

 

Always find you after quarrel +100 bucks

 

Need you to put her to sleep +100 bucks

 

Call you everyday +100 bucks

 

Only being good to you +200 bucks

 

Cry for you +100 bucks

 

Make you cry –100 bucks

 

Independent +100 bucks

 

Good in makeup +100 bucks

 

Do laundry for you +100 bucks

 

Mature +100 bucks

 

Do not laugh when she is with you –200 bucks

 

Want to you skip your class for her –200 bucks

 

Fail her subject –100 bucks

 

Say you are ugly –200 bucks

 

Never play sticker photo –200 bucks(?)

 

Flirt with other guys –200 bucks


Don’t tell me you actually finished reading one by one. That’s why girls are always so complicated lah! Don’t know which dumbass came up with these stupid requirements.

 

Well let look at the boyfriend part.

 

Boyfriend Price Calculation

Handsome +100 bucks

 

Gentleman +200 bucks

 

Kind and friendly +100 bucks

 

 

 

FUCK IT THIS IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN FOR BOYFRIEND PART! It should be something like this:

 

Boyfriend price

=

Total money in his personal bank account(s)

+

Monthly income x % willing to spend on you

 

And that pretty much explains why am I still single and will still be fucking doomed.

 

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Seriously, God damn it.

Currently have 9 comments:

  1. LOL, funny. I want to calculate my gf's price and complain to how cheap she is wahaha.

  1. JWei says:

    oiek! you bias! i wonder how much u worth....

  1. ken says:

    hahaha.. nice one!
    girls are really complicated! =P

  1. Jz says:

    Chris: Ew you're being so mean! Later she scores like 10,000 bucks then you die. LMAO

    Jwei: scroll downnnnn, I got my price over there!

    Ken: Cannot blame them, look at their makeup tools, like OMG.

  1. Jessica Liu says:

    u only chat with girls de mer?! y all the girls people have already gone offline then u start to study ah~~~~
    en....according to ur Price Calculation and ur wallet, ur price is RM 1.50???
    by da way, i love Marketing~~

  1. Jessica Liu says:

    and and why "More than 22 years old, –100 bucks/year"!!!!!!!!

  1. Jz says:

    That was a joke, and I'm really RM1.50 LMAOO.

    And the age part, that wasn't my formula so don't ask me haha

  1. what?! limpek's Gojira at least also +888 bucks mah!

    for the girls... "If comes wh testicles... +100 each"

  1. Anonymous says:

    Jeezzz...dat's really funny.... :D