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How to know the price of your girlfriend / boyfriend

Tuesday, August 17, 2010 , Posted by Jz at 3:18 AM

It’s almost 3am in the morning and you guess what I’m doing,




Holy crap! You didn’t see me wrong nor I was bluffing you like your mum said she would buy you a lollipop if you study.


It’s just that all the girls people have already gone offline and I guess it’s the time for me to utilise the textbooks as I spent bucks on em and now they’re still looking so new like they can be put back to sell anytime.


But then, I just cannot continue anymore after a whole damn chapter of Marketing. What should I say? Dumbasses people write dumbasses stuffs? Why are all the textbooks trying to make simple theories or definitions or shits into complicated ones with shitload of grandmother stories?


Why don’t you just give me point form God damn it!


Okay, enough of complains about the retarded textbooks, back to the title. Somehow I ran into a formula about how to calculate your girlfriend price on Facebook, it’s in Chinese so I went through all the way to translate it, okay, we all know not really, Google Translate did most of the part LMAO.


Girlfriend Price Calculation


So every girl starts with  1,000 bucks

Taller than 168cm, every 1cm +100 bucks

Height less than 160cm, each 1cm -100 bucks


Have dimple +100

Long hair +150 yuan

Know dancing +100 bucks

Know singing +100 bucks

Exaggerated dressing –200 bucks

Breast size A-B –100 bucks, C-D +200 bucks 


Weight over 55 kilograms, –100 bucks per 10kg

Weight less than 50 kilograms, –100 bucks per 10kg

Myopia, more than 300 degrees, –100 bucks per 100 degrees

Single / fold eyelid +50 bucks +100 bucks 

Got dumped –100 bucks/time, dumped others +100 bucks/time

Never fell in love +100 bucks 

First kiss was you +300 bucks

First kiss wasn’t you –200 bucks


First XX partner was you +500 bucks


First XX partner wasn’t you –400 bucks

First love was you +300 bucks

More than 22 years old, –100 bucks/year

Illness –100 bucks/illness

Swim +100 bucks

Do not gamble +100 bucks

Do not drink alcohol +100 bucks

Outstanding achievements +200 bucks

Respect the elderly + 100 bucks

Like sewing +100 bucks

Not vain  +200 bucks

Love alcoholic -200 bucks

Smoking -200 bucks

Love to use foul language –300 bucks

Love dyeing -100 bucks

Love pets +100 bucks


Love flowers +100 bucks


Love children +100 bucks


Know cooking +300 bucks


Polite and gentle +100 bucks


Naive, bad tempered –200 bucks


Tell you she misses you +100 bucks


Heart talk with you +100 bucks


Distance with other guys +200 bucks

Care of you +100 bucks


Do not disturb your personal life +100 bucks


Want you to spend money on them –200 bucks


Like to buy things or hand make things to you +100 bucks


Care about your work or study +200 bucks


Dress in the way you like +100 bucks


No laundry / housework –200 bucks


Scold you in front of friends –200 bucks


Always want to break up –100 bucks


Quarrel for small stuffs –200 bucks


Always find you after quarrel +100 bucks


Need you to put her to sleep +100 bucks


Call you everyday +100 bucks


Only being good to you +200 bucks


Cry for you +100 bucks


Make you cry –100 bucks


Independent +100 bucks


Good in makeup +100 bucks


Do laundry for you +100 bucks


Mature +100 bucks


Do not laugh when she is with you –200 bucks


Want to you skip your class for her –200 bucks


Fail her subject –100 bucks


Say you are ugly –200 bucks


Never play sticker photo –200 bucks(?)


Flirt with other guys –200 bucks

Don’t tell me you actually finished reading one by one. That’s why girls are always so complicated lah! Don’t know which dumbass came up with these stupid requirements.


Well let look at the boyfriend part.


Boyfriend Price Calculation

Handsome +100 bucks


Gentleman +200 bucks


Kind and friendly +100 bucks






Boyfriend price


Total money in his personal bank account(s)


Monthly income x % willing to spend on you


And that pretty much explains why am I still single and will still be fucking doomed.




Seriously, God damn it.

Currently have 9 comments:

  1. LOL, funny. I want to calculate my gf's price and complain to how cheap she is wahaha.

  1. JWei says:

    oiek! you bias! i wonder how much u worth....

  1. ken says:

    hahaha.. nice one!
    girls are really complicated! =P

  1. Jz says:

    Chris: Ew you're being so mean! Later she scores like 10,000 bucks then you die. LMAO

    Jwei: scroll downnnnn, I got my price over there!

    Ken: Cannot blame them, look at their makeup tools, like OMG.

  1. Jessica Liu says:

    u only chat with girls de mer?! y all the girls people have already gone offline then u start to study ah~~~~
    en....according to ur Price Calculation and ur wallet, ur price is RM 1.50???
    by da way, i love Marketing~~

  1. Jessica Liu says:

    and and why "More than 22 years old, –100 bucks/year"!!!!!!!!

  1. Jz says:

    That was a joke, and I'm really RM1.50 LMAOO.

    And the age part, that wasn't my formula so don't ask me haha

  1. what?! limpek's Gojira at least also +888 bucks mah!

    for the girls... "If comes wh testicles... +100 each"

  1. Anonymous says:

    Jeezzz...dat's really funny.... :D