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Is acting cute really retarded?

Posted by Jz on Monday, August 30, 2010 | comments (4)



I haven’t been blogging daily for ages, so when you see me blogging again within 24 hours like RIGHT NOW, there must be something wrong with me. (Although some people believe that there is always something wrong with me.)

 

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Anyway, today will be a short one.

 

Actually I was inspired a friend from blogsphere, Chris. Somehow, I used to feel that he and I have the same ideology or perspectives towards stuffs.

 

However, I’m sad to say that we have finally come a disagreement today.

 

In his latest post, “I Farking HATE cute posts”, Chris seems to be dissatisfied with the people who like to act cute, he, therefore, sarcastically imitates the photos and writing style of those who he calls semi-retarded, with full of ironies in his words.

 

Yes, we do have this kind of acting cute people all around blogsphere, Facebook, and shits. Despite of the fact that >sometimes< they’re annoying, it’s really impropriate to label them as “retarded”.

 

Seriously, tell me what’s so retarded of acting cute,

 

123 (with his so-called distorting mouth and forcefully-bigger eyes.)

 

Tell me. LMAO!

 

So Chris, you don’t have to be so mean to them! There is nothing wrong with acting retarded, sorry, I mean, acting cute.

 

By the way, I sacrificed my already-in-deep-shit image and already-left-few fans to help you out here because your pictures are too cute to present the retard-ed-ness. LOLOL

How to study 8 hours straight

Posted by Jz on Sunday, August 29, 2010 | comments (5)



Yes, it’s been a gay long time since my last update.

 

Although I was actually messing with shitload of dumbass assignments, but believe me, I actually planned for this post like 1 or 2 weeks ago, but somehow I ran out of bandwidth and my internet turned into 2kb/s until today. Seriously, how can a living person lives with only 6G of data usage per month. Damn Maxis.

 

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Okay back to the title. For some reasons, I got myself a new wish to achieve early of this semester – to graduate with First Honour Degree. And no, I didn’t just wish, I actually came out with a plan to get the thing work, the plan was to study or do revision 3 times a day, and 8 hours each time.

 

It’s pretty hard to study 8 hours straight, especially when you have to stand the temptation of putting your fingers on the keyboard. Well, however, it’s not impossible, you just need a well organized plan. Let me show you how I did it on my Macroeconomic.

 

I spent the first hour reading how the world market works,

 

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and 2nd hour about economic growth,

 

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and 3rd hour about the short-run fluctuations of economy,

 

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and 4th hour about unemployment and inflation,

 

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and 5th hour about the banks and monetary policy,

 

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and 6th hour about the governments and fiscal policy,

 

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and 7th hour about the international economy,

 

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and finally, 8th hour about the world financial system.

 

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You know what, after the 8 hours of tough works, I actually found myself learnt a lot and well prepared to sit for exams.

 

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Good luck on trying it out! And do it 3 times a day!

 

Oh by the way, regarding the First Honour Degree stuff, nah, it was a joke. LMAO!

How to know the price of your girlfriend / boyfriend

Posted by Jz on Tuesday, August 17, 2010 | comments (9)



It’s almost 3am in the morning and you guess what I’m doing,

 

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Holy crap! You didn’t see me wrong nor I was bluffing you like your mum said she would buy you a lollipop if you study.

 

It’s just that all the girls people have already gone offline and I guess it’s the time for me to utilise the textbooks as I spent bucks on em and now they’re still looking so new like they can be put back to sell anytime.

 

But then, I just cannot continue anymore after a whole damn chapter of Marketing. What should I say? Dumbasses people write dumbasses stuffs? Why are all the textbooks trying to make simple theories or definitions or shits into complicated ones with shitload of grandmother stories?

 

Why don’t you just give me point form God damn it!

 

Okay, enough of complains about the retarded textbooks, back to the title. Somehow I ran into a formula about how to calculate your girlfriend price on Facebook, it’s in Chinese so I went through all the way to translate it, okay, we all know not really, Google Translate did most of the part LMAO.

 

Girlfriend Price Calculation

 

So every girl starts with  1,000 bucks


Taller than 168cm, every 1cm +100 bucks


Height less than 160cm, each 1cm -100 bucks

 

Have dimple +100


Long hair +150 yuan


Know dancing +100 bucks


Know singing +100 bucks


Exaggerated dressing –200 bucks


Breast size A-B –100 bucks, C-D +200 bucks 

 

Weight over 55 kilograms, –100 bucks per 10kg

 
Weight less than 50 kilograms, –100 bucks per 10kg

 
Myopia, more than 300 degrees, –100 bucks per 100 degrees


Single / fold eyelid +50 bucks +100 bucks 


Got dumped –100 bucks/time, dumped others +100 bucks/time

 
Never fell in love +100 bucks 

First kiss was you +300 bucks


First kiss wasn’t you –200 bucks

 

First XX partner was you +500 bucks

 

First XX partner wasn’t you –400 bucks


First love was you +300 bucks


More than 22 years old, –100 bucks/year

 
Illness –100 bucks/illness


Swim +100 bucks


Do not gamble +100 bucks

 
Do not drink alcohol +100 bucks

 
Outstanding achievements +200 bucks


Respect the elderly + 100 bucks


Like sewing +100 bucks

 
Not vain  +200 bucks


Love alcoholic -200 bucks


Smoking -200 bucks


Love to use foul language –300 bucks


Love dyeing -100 bucks


Love pets +100 bucks

 

Love flowers +100 bucks

 

Love children +100 bucks

 

Know cooking +300 bucks

 

Polite and gentle +100 bucks

 

Naive, bad tempered –200 bucks

 

Tell you she misses you +100 bucks

 

Heart talk with you +100 bucks

 

Distance with other guys +200 bucks

Care of you +100 bucks

 

Do not disturb your personal life +100 bucks

 

Want you to spend money on them –200 bucks

 

Like to buy things or hand make things to you +100 bucks

 

Care about your work or study +200 bucks

 

Dress in the way you like +100 bucks

 

No laundry / housework –200 bucks

 

Scold you in front of friends –200 bucks

 

Always want to break up –100 bucks

 

Quarrel for small stuffs –200 bucks

 

Always find you after quarrel +100 bucks

 

Need you to put her to sleep +100 bucks

 

Call you everyday +100 bucks

 

Only being good to you +200 bucks

 

Cry for you +100 bucks

 

Make you cry –100 bucks

 

Independent +100 bucks

 

Good in makeup +100 bucks

 

Do laundry for you +100 bucks

 

Mature +100 bucks

 

Do not laugh when she is with you –200 bucks

 

Want to you skip your class for her –200 bucks

 

Fail her subject –100 bucks

 

Say you are ugly –200 bucks

 

Never play sticker photo –200 bucks(?)

 

Flirt with other guys –200 bucks


Don’t tell me you actually finished reading one by one. That’s why girls are always so complicated lah! Don’t know which dumbass came up with these stupid requirements.

 

Well let look at the boyfriend part.

 

Boyfriend Price Calculation

Handsome +100 bucks

 

Gentleman +200 bucks

 

Kind and friendly +100 bucks

 

 

 

FUCK IT THIS IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN FOR BOYFRIEND PART! It should be something like this:

 

Boyfriend price

=

Total money in his personal bank account(s)

+

Monthly income x % willing to spend on you

 

And that pretty much explains why am I still single and will still be fucking doomed.

 

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Seriously, God damn it.

Oh shit! FREE beers promotion!

Posted by Jz on Thursday, August 12, 2010 | comments (5)



Forgive me for not updating for quite a time, was and am kinda busy lately, busy playing games.

 

Anyway, plus the life in KL is pretty plain, nothing significant actually happened besides my new hair cut.

 

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Okay shut the shit out I know what are you going to say, ‘it doesn’t suit you’, ‘WHY SO SHORT’, ‘you look like a dick’ and etc. At least my parents would be happy to see that, and when they’re pleased, they might increase my allowance, but you cannot!

 

Oh shit! I forget my mum does read my blog regularly! Wew, who cares anyway.

 

Back to the title, after few of my friends quitted drinking, I was thinking something like it’s the time for me to stop drinking that much so I was kinda slow down in KL…yes really…erm ok, skip that part.

 

Well, things always happen to test our determination, for example, when I received this.

 

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WHAT THE FLYING FUCK!? FREE!? ARE YOU SERIOUS? FREE!?

 

A very deep person back then came out with a really deep philosophy, he says anything free is good. True enough, and beers somemore!

 

I’m not that desperate, or maybe I do, but that’s not the point, the point is I didn’t believe it, therefore, I decided to go and check if they are actually giving out beers for free, yes, to check, like real.

 

And when I see the long queue with shitload of alcohol-desperate bastards (which excludes me, I was there to check remember? LMAO!),

 

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and HOLYCRAPWTFLIKEOMG,

 

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I knew it’s probably real. But somehow I still didn’t believe so I continue to queue up, until the 4 cans of beers were put on my hand with a smile.

 

Anyway, drinking beers is not really good for health, occasionally is fine, but don’t drink too much.

 

 

Somehow it doesn’t seem convincing from my mouth. LMAO!

 

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Welcome to Playboy Mansion!

Posted by Jz on Thursday, August 5, 2010 | comments (3)



Ohai! Finally I make a post again, after so long of settling down in KL. Trust me, you cannot imagine how thick the dust can be for just one month here, so I had been cleaning up my rooms, messing with college stuffs, and building a Playboy Mansion.

 

Yes, a Playboy Mansion.

 

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People in Malaysia are rarely exposed to this bunny logo (I think LOL) because our kind and good and clean and ethical government has banned the Playboy’s website and magazine for our own good.

 

So not to say the it’s founder, or the idol of every man on earth (besides Malaysia LMAO), Hugh Hefner.

 

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This guy who is always in a red bathrobe is not an ordinary uncle out there, and I’m not talking about his money duhhh,

 

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and look at who might he marry at this age (click).

 

And his Playboy Mansion, is always hosting some not-suitable-for-Malaysian parties, which some reluctantly-acceptable-for-Malaysian pictures can be found here (click).

 

Okay, I’m getting excited and going too far, back to the title of building a Playboy Mansion. I was playing The Sims 3 for some god knows reasons and was inspired to build one in the game.

 

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Eh wait wait! To make things clear, I was inspired by watching a movie names Miss March in PPS but not surfing Playboy.com okay? I don’t know how to use PROXY SERVICES to surf that site.

 

And yes I do know the fact that The Sims 3 is a lame game which people go search and download the simmed  stars like Megan Fox / Angelina Jolie / Taylor Shift / Edward Cullen just to WOO-HOO with them, you know what I mean, but I was way too bored!

 

Anyway I downloaded a mansion from, I forget, but who cares, it’s a mansion.

 

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Then I made Hugh Hefner.

 

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Maybe it does not really look like the real one, well, that doesn’t matter, as long as we have girls in the mansion.

 

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Like the parties in the real Playboy Mansion, we always have girls dancing all around the house, although in The Sims they are in a more suitable-for-Malaysian version laah.

 

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You will also run into a hot girl in bikini occasionally, I mean, frequently. Despite the fact that you’re an old shit, like the real Hugh Hefner, you can always talk and flirt with them!

 

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Life is good!

 

However, the longer I played, the more stupid things I found. For example, the girls would hate you if you flirt with other girls in front of them, which I doubt it would happen to the real Hugh Hefner.

 

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And what the flying heck!? Not to say WOO-HOO with them, the fake Hugh Hefner even failed just to kiss a girl!

 

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That’s why I think I should really stop playing and do something more decent, like going and looking forward to Hugh Hefner. LMFAO!