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The Party Started

Posted by Jz on Saturday, June 26, 2010 | comments (3)



Ohai! You know it’s hard to see me here when I’m having my holiday, somehow I’m always too free during exams and busy during holidays, so appreciate it.


Well it cannot be said as a party anyway, just the same bunch of great friends,


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and a creepy lecturer of us,


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had some sound breaking ceiling dropping ordinary singings in Redbox,


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oh okay, this emotion is not every ordinary, the mixture of happiness and sadness and excitement and angriness.


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then had some drinks and crap talks after that.


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It’s been a long time, so all of us had saved shitload of craps to crap, for example our studies, results and future.



Okay not really LMAO


The same thing were happening,


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in case you don’t know or misunderstand what are those liquid in the glasses, those are leng teh. Yes, really.


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Really.


Besides leng teh, we also had kiok hua, which were prepared purposely if the scenario below happens:


Parents: What were you drinking just now in the party?

Child: KIOK HUA!

Parents: Oh really?

Child: See this!


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Then when I saw this,


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I knew I was going to get pwned.


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Friend 1: Faster lah don’t waste our time.

Friend 2: Cake veli expensive lah, canot waste like that one lah.

Friend 3: We still want to eat one lah won’t play one!

Friend 4: Ya lah we don’t want to eat your nose shit lah!


So did your mother teach you not to trust your friends?


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Anyway! Besides the cake part, and someone was drunk like fark, everything was awesome that night! Thank you people!


Oh ya, one of my favourite pictures.


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I know you people love me.


What? Six packs? I might draw em out with Paint when I'm free perhaps.

The asshole is back!

Posted by Jz on Thursday, June 24, 2010 | comments (2)



Don’t ask me why I didn’t update, wireless in my home fucked up and this laptop had been sleeping for one whole week, new record.

 

*Back to the title*

 

It’s been 30 years, I mean 3 months, since I left Penang. And now, the asshole is back! Well, whether the asshole is constructive or destructive to Penang is another case.

 

First of all, congratulation to myself for finishing my final. If you ask me, which you probably won’t, what’s my feeling after my first final in degree. I’d say FUCK YOU for the Business Information System subject.

 

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I’m seriously glad that I don’t have to touch this inapplicable but brain-space-wasting subject anymore, even memorizing who is the grandmother of Najib would probably help me in becoming Prime Minister in the future, but this? NAH!

 

However, I’d say PEACE for Accounting, Economics, and perhaps Business Law.

 

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3 of you just got fucking owned and da bao’ed by an asshole who’s so going to be Prime Minister in future. Muafafa go cry!

 

Anyway, Penang is just a warm place as usual, I mean warm literally, life-shortening warm. Well that doesn’t matter when you have your air condition opened and lazing on your bed.

 

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I know my leg hair is just sexy, admit it and stop being jealous. Lying on your own bed after such a long time is just awesome! So who the fuck cares about the chlorofluoadjasdoroblablacarbon or the global warming or the green house effect? Okay, my parents do, especially when electric bill comes.

 

When I was wondering where to have gathering with all my friends in Penang as every place is full because world cup has become part of people life,

 

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I found these, which would help me a lot,

 

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Warau eh! I have a new fridge with shitload of these inside! Awesome! Then after I looked around the house that I’m no longer I familiar with, I found…

 

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WARAU EH! SIAU LIAO LA JI PAI! But taking em out for party would probably make the party become the last time you see me.

 

Okay, before I end this post, if some of you wonder how the asshole the future prime minister looked like when he was a child, I found a picture in my room.

 

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I know I was AM just cute.

Does Jack think he is handsome?

Posted by Jz on Monday, June 14, 2010 | comments (8)



Ohai! You see me again this fast, because tomorrow is my exam! Okay that reason doesn’t make sense, who the fark cares anyway haha I’m mad.

 

*back to the title*

 

Somehow after I made 3 posts with my pictures, I received a comment from one of my friends which I think I should make some explanations.

 

‘Lu xiong kong lu jin en tau arh?’

(You think you’re very handsome?)

 

So does Jack really think Jack is handsome?

 

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YES! Jack does think that Jack is handsome!   As in Jack Sparrow.

 

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Please, it’s simply because I didn’t hang around and took pictures with my 80 years old + auto shut down + 0.2 megapixel hand phone. And I figured that my readers, erm okay, I have no readers, myself, would prefer my posts with some entertaining pictures rather than plain text.

 

Seriously!

 

If I really think that I’m handsome, I’d have at least shaved my beard and tidied up my hair before taking picture instead of like this.

 

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If I really think that I’m handsome, I’d have worn something decent but not the Langkawi pyjamas that I have been wearing since, forever?

 

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If I really think that I’m handsome, I’d pick a better background rather than my messy hostel room to match with my handsomeness.

 

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If I really think that I’m handsome, the picture in the socks post (click) would look like this.

 

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If I really think that I’m handsome, I’d have photoshopped my face into small nose, small mouth, thin face and big eyes, like this.

 

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If I really think that I’m handsome, I’d wear, shades. Like Peter Chao.

 

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Or maybe…

I just don’t need these because I’m too handsome? ROFL!

 

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Okay joke a side. Please, don’t hurt me like that, I seriously didn’t think that I’m handsome or what.

 

But I do think that I’m cute lah…

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LMFAO!

NO NO! JOKE! LOLOOL!

Girls: Why Football?

Posted by Jz on Saturday, June 12, 2010 | comments (4)



Ohai! It’s me again! Yes it’s weird to see me 2 days here continuous after I have lost the passion of blogging. There is a really simple explanation anyway, because exam is getting nearer and nearer. I don’t know why but when exam is near I’d go mad and look like this every night.

 

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I’d stop gaming that much because I know I shouldn’t but I won’t study that much as well although I should, then crazy thoughts will come into my mind and the asshole Jack will appear in this blog again.

 

So, lets go back to the topic without dragging it much further like yesterday, why football?

 

I believe that this question has been bugging shitload of girls and wives out there, especially like the world cup season now when your boyfriend and husband suddenly becomes hardworking and wants to do some studies or overtime. You girls just don’t understand what’s the fun of looking bunch of guys chasing at a ball and yelling like some retards when their favourite team scores a goal.

 

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Okay well, it’s just the same theory of why you girls like shopping that much, which we guys don’t really understand as well. We also don’t really understand why you girls need so much of cloths / shoes / heels / accessories / bags when you didn’t even wear some of them in your closet for more than 5 times. You see I have been using this ugly and lala bag since Form 2 and I’m still using it.

 

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So it seems to us that they’re just some wastages that could be donated and save few kids in Africa, or to let us fly to South Africa for the World Cup (weee).

 

In conclusion, there are differences between guys and girls so we cannot question each other really much. I know you girls have shitload of reasons why shopping is good and etc, but don’t ask me why guys love football as I’m not really into it.

 

YES! I’m one of the small portion of guys that you girls are looking for! I’m not into football!

 

However, I’m into another kind of balls.

 

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Hey! Every guy is into this okay? LMAO!

(So now I lost fans from both guys and girls LOL!)

So you want RM3.3 million?

Posted by Jz on Friday, June 11, 2010 | comments (1)



Ohai! I know it’s been a gay long time, but you should really understand that I’m under a great stress which I found hard to comprehend with recently. Look at my hair now,

 

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And just one month ago it was like,

 

 

Yes, this picture again. Life was too busy for me to take pictures and I know you all love it (ROFL!).

 

So can you imagine how stressed I am? My final exam will start in less than one week and I still have shitload to read. Business Law, Accounting, Economics, Business Information System, they’re like some sort of slow poisons that rip me off slowly. The books have been keeping me awake until 4am for almost 1 week and I sometimes even had to sleep like this!

 

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I know my old friends in Penang are not going to believe this, well it’s not because that you guys had never seen Jack got stressed before in PMR SPM or Foundation then it means Jack won’t get stressed. Seriously this time…

 

 

Erm okay, I was kidding LMAO! Even my parents won’t believe in this crap lah! Don’t tell me you actually believe my craps because I put my glasses on. My white hair is perfectly inherited from both of of my parents and I don’t even know my exact exam table besides it starts on 15 to 18 June.

 

And actually I’m fooling around with these until 4am.

 

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I think I’ll get bashed into pieces when I get back to Penang next week if my mom reads this.

 

Eh wait! What a som booo deeeee (click)! OUR TITLE IS 3.3 MILLION!

 

*Back to the title*

 

Every night I do read some news online and just now I went through this.

http://www.kwongwah.com.my/news/2010/06/11/30.html

(wat? lu duno chinese? go do google translate lah lazy dauu!)

 

The main point is a random business man got arrested and detained for 300 days under the ISA for being accused of making fake passports or sort, then at the end of the day the court decided that it was illegal and the business man got compensated by a damage of RM3.3 million.

 

What a som booooo deeeeeeee? He was entitled to claim a damage of RM20k per day of detaining for some who-cares-I-just-saw-3.3m reasons which would make up a total of RM6 million. And the court gave the government and the I-don’t-know-I-just-saw-3.3m people 50% discount then it ended up become RM3.3 million.

 

NOW WHAT THE *CENSORED*! We people pay shitload of taxes and now because of ISA government has to pay a random person RM3.3 million!?

 

What? I cannot get pissed on behalf of my parents? And who says I haven’t started paying taxes yet, where the hell do you think the service charges and government taxes you paid when you ate in restaurant went to?

 

So you cannot blame me for getting so pissed! Unless… I were the one getting 3.3m bucks lah of course!

 

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NO WAY! I’m going to earn more than RM20k/day after becoming a PM (CLICK). OH NOES I DIDN’T MEAN ANYTHING!

 

Again, I was joking, I don’t want to be ass-raped detained for 3.3m bucks. So for my asshole freedom sake, please don’t arrest me under ISA because even a 3 years old knows I’m a pure idiot plus semi-retarded after reading my blog, and our government is just like like what Goldfish Uncle said about the police:

 

The Malaysian Police Government is extremely honest and transparent and great and invincible and intelligent and the greatest gift God has ever given to mankind.

So final exam is coming?

Posted by Jz on Tuesday, June 1, 2010 | comments (6)



We all know time flies, it feels like I just moved to KL to study yesterday, and guess what, in 2 weeks time I’m going to sit for my semester one final exam!

 

It’s like I just went into the college, started to peep on girls in my class then suddenly the lecturers came in and did the revisions then told us that final exam is in 2 weeks.

 

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Okay that’s just what am I supposed to look like, but actually I look like this now.

 

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No joke, I’m so extraordinarily calm but yet I know I’m going to up car at the very last minute. You know how I spent my day today? Which is supposed to be used to study? I spent my day wondering in a mall looking for a pair of socks.

 

Yes, socks.

 

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I was actually looking for the socks that are short enough for some gay reasons. It was seriously harder than I thought it would be, pissed, do you know how god damn big the whole Sunway Pyramid is? AND I JUST WANTED A PAIR OF SOCKS!

 

I went into every shop that sells shoes and even the service counter of Sunway to ask for it and none of them seems to have the socks I want. It’s like asking a pirated dvd seller in pasar malam: ‘Eh boss? This Ip Man you have original one or not?’ They’re all like ‘sorry no shorter liao’.

 

So at the end of the day, I was just to brilliant to come up with an idea. JUST FUCKING BUY GIRL ONE LAH!

 

I' was just clever wasn’t I? And I actually bought it, guess what?

 

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Too short liao… TULAN!

 

Eh? i thought my title was about exam? LOL!