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Why should girls stay single?

Friday, May 21, 2010 , Posted by Jz at 8:24 PM

I have been using Maxis broadband for some god damn reasons, and guess what, I have never been this satisfied before! Maxis broadband allowed me to continue using internet even though I’ve reached my usage quota! How kind of Maxis, I was still able to download songs at 1 to 3 kb/s and read a whole damn chapter of Sherlock Holmes (yes, Jack reads) while waiting for a page to load. That explains why I have been so ‘online active’ these days.

 

Anyway, that didn’t kill me, but it killed shitload of people in game. Yes, I spent my days playing Hitman: Blood Money and successfully silent-assassinated those asses besides the last mission, it’s still way to go! Ah wait!? You thought I was studying for my final?

 

Okay enough of craps, back to the title, why should girls stay single? The answer is pretty simple actually, because guys suck. Well, not all of them, but most. If you want a statistical figure I’d say that 99.99995% of guys suck according to the research done by Professor Jack.

 

How did that asshole the professor get the figure? You might ask. According to him, the research was done by putting all the requirements or qualities of not-sucking guys together and calculate the percentages. He claims that:

 

 

around half of the guys are short having not-satisfied height (50%),

 

 

then approximately only 1 out of 10 guys with satisfied height is good looking (10%),

 

 

then most of the good looking guys are players (assuming 10% are not players),

 

 

then among the not-players most of them must not be good guys, as in attitude or morality (assuming 10% are good guys),

 

 

then among the good guys most of them are not rich guys (assuming 20% are rich),

 

 

then among the rich guys most of them are not available (assuming 10% are available),

 

 

then among the available guys with these quality, they are probably gays (assuming 50% are gays),

 

 

then among those who are not gay, they probably have some ‘physical’ or mental problems  (assuming 50% are normal),

 

 

then these guys must be extremely picky so that’s why they’re still single (assuming 10% are not picky),

 

and yes, while other special requirements ( like six pack or being a vampire) are excluded, the rest are the not-sucking guys, or what we call the Prince Charmings, ops sorry I’m still in Snow White era, the latest term is Edward Cullens.

 

If we put all the percentages together, it will be something like:

50% x 10% x 10% x 10% x 20% x 10% x 50% x 50% x 10% = 0.000025%

approximately 0.000025%, which means if you go Facebook and randomly add 4,000,000 guys, you’d probably have 1 Edward Cullen in your friend list and the rest of 3,999,999 guys are suck and can go fuck themselves.

 

After you spot Edward Cullen, don’t forget that you still have to compete with 397 buses of girls to actually get him and probably end up getting defeated by some random girls named Bella.

 

So please, seriously, either stay single or stop complaining.

or maybe go Facebook now. LOL!

 

*No offence, this post is purely for entertaining purpose and the Professor Jack is semi-retarded.

Currently have 3 comments:

  1. Jessica Liu says:

    guys r suck...en! i can see...

  1. Jessica Liu says:

    guys r suck...en! i can see...

  1. Jz says:

    Besides...ahem...me LOLOLOL!