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What’d make you answer ‘my mother’?

Posted by Jz on Thursday, January 28, 2010 | comments (0)



Short talk:123

So I’ll probably go back on this Friday. Why? Because I’m broke.

 

 

 

Facebook, a place where people, or maybe strangers, interact among each other. Well, for some people it is, but not for assholes. Like me.

 

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Translation:

Anonymous: There must be someone really who’s really special living in everyone’s heart. That feeling isn’t love, but somehow, you do care of her. When she isn’t happy, you will be unhappy as well. When she is aggrieved, you will be upset. I have one in my heart, how about you? When you read this, who comes into your heart?

Asshole Jack: My mother.

 

What? I do really mean it okay? LOL!

Believe me, mother.

Posted by Jz on Monday, January 25, 2010 | comments (6)



Short talk:123

Watch whole day of DVD, feel like my eyes dropping out already.

 

 

 

I got captured in the Halloween party, somehow, and then tagged by my friend when he found out about it on Facebook.

 

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Feel free to guess which one is me.

 

Anyway, I made this post purposely to tell people who had made several comments to me, to tell them that:

 

The drink on my hand was actually SARSI!

 

Which certainly, no one would believe it.

Average length of male’s genitals

Posted by Jz on Saturday, January 23, 2010 | comments (13)



Short talk:123

Wanted to swim yesterday, my hand wounded; Wanted to jog today, the sky turned dark and started raining in 10 minutes.

 

 

 

So, I have made a post about how to measure the length, without actually looking at it here. But well, some guys might claim that they’re just rumours which cannot be trusted, and indirectly implying that they’re actually looonger.

 

Who knows? But I found this official record, somehow, and it’s from newspaper. Trustable enough huh?

 

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For those who don’t understand Chinese, I’m too lazy have no time to translate everything for you. But here is the table:

 

Average length of erected penises

France – 16cm

Italy – 15cm

Mexico – 14.9cm

Spain – 14cm

US – 12.9cm

Venezuela – 12.7cm

Brazil – 12.4cm

Hong Kong – 10.5cm

Korea – 9.6cm

 

First of all, I was surprised by the 12.9cm from US. What the heck? I thought blacks are all horses? I don’t know, maybe the whites bring the average down. LOL!

 

And then secondly, as all of you may have noticed, there is no Malaysia in the list. So maybe, I mean maybe, we can just make it this way, we find the nearest country. Which is it? Hong Kong for certain, which is the second shortest in the list.

 

I know I know, people are going to bark on my face, again, because this actually makes them even more shorter than my previous post. Hong Kong is far! Malaysia is different! This is crap! How the fark can you compare Malaysia to Hong Kong!  or etc. 

 

Okay okay, it’s fine not to admit it. It’s just an average remember? Maybe you’re extraordinarily aboooove average.

 

You know it yourself. ;D

 

By the way, have you watched Edison pictures? You will know. LOL!

I’m so going to die faster

Posted by Jz on Thursday, January 21, 2010 | comments (1)



Short talk:123

Yes, I did have my finger wounded. So does it actually mean that I have to cry for mama? LOL

 

 

 

I do seriously feel that, somehow, I’d die faster than ordinary people,

 

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for some reasons.

Problems & Money

Posted by Jz on Wednesday, January 20, 2010 | comments (4)



Short talk: 123

I got a new target, swimming or jogging everyday. I feel healthy.

 

 

 

 

 

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We always say that, we have problems. Couldn’t finish your assignment, a problem; Couldn’t find a job, a problem; Breaking up with your boyfriend, a problem; Your ex-boyfriend is dating another girl, also another problem.

 

But what is problem at the first place?

 

Actually, a problem only exists if you’re worrying about it. When you start worrying about something, it turns into a problem. While on the other hand, if you’re not worrying about it, no matter how bad the situation is, it is not a problem for you.

 

For example: couldn’t finish your assignment, who cares? 10 marks only mah, not a problem; Couldn’t find a job, who cares? I can still live without working, not a problem; Breaking up with your boyfriend, who cares? Guys are lining up for me, not a problem; Your ex-boyfriend is dating another girl, who cares? I’m dating another guy as well, not a problem.

 

Even if the world were really going to collapse in 2012. Who cares? All people are dying with me and I couldn’t change this fact anyway. Therefore, worrying leads to problems, excessive worries lead to excessive problems.

 

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And then, people say that: Money is not omnipotent.

 

But the fact is: Money is not omnipotent, it is almost, omnipotent.

 

Money cannot buy life, but it does extend your life; Money cannot buy time, but it does buy you workers to finish your work; Money cannot buy knowledge, but it does give you the opportunity to gain knowledge.

 

The main role of money is solving problems. When we have a need, or want, we start to worry of it (foods, house, cloths, etc), and then it becomes a problem for us. And that’s when money comes to play, we pay, we got what we need or want, we’re not longer worrying, problem solved.

 

Again, people always say that: Money cannot solve all the problems. But the fact is, money does solve, I suppose, 99% of the our problems (Of course, excluding natural disasters and death). And that’s why, money is almost omnipotent.

 

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Therefore, if we link everything together and go backward, it’d be something like this.

 

If you have money > 99% of you problems will be gone > you will be 99% less worrying > 99% less stress > life is good for you.

 

You know why I blog about this? Because life is not really good for me now, I feel stressful, I’m worrying, I have problems. Why?

 

NO MONEY LAH!

Love & blogging

Posted by Jz on Monday, January 18, 2010 | comments (4)



Short talk:123

8 in 1 DVDs x2, I’m so going to get arrested under the new law. LOL

 

 

 

 

People always want to know that if their lover is suitable for them or not. Dang those idiotic psychology test, horoscope or whatever, none of them are real.

 

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Well, there is one way. The solution is pretty simple, but however, painful – do nothing for one year or more. According to a research, one year is the average time for the passion of the love to disappear.

 

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Or let me put it this way, after one year of being together, both of you have already known each other well. By that time, both guys and girls have nothing to hide from each other anymore. Guys don’t have to act gentle and romantic, while girls don’t have to act cute and make up purposely for their boyfriend.

 

Besides, it’s passion that blind you from the bad things of his or hers, it filters them out, and then leaves only the good things in your eyes. So only after the passion is gone, you will only be able to see, to know, or to think rationally about the bad sides of him or her.

 

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And that is when, you realise that if he or she is the one for you or not, if you can stay with a person like that for your whole life or not. Of course lah, by that time both of you wouldn’t be hesitate to fart in front of each other already.

 

In conclusion, don’t get married too fast. =P

 

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Well, the thing I didn’t know that is the same theory is applied to blogging. After this month, I’m officially blogging for one year already. It’s sad to say this but, be frank, I have already lost my passion for blogging already.

 

I used to blog daily, but now, I skip blogging more and more, my entries are getting shorter and shorter, and boring stuffs in my blog are getting more and more.

 

I thought that it’s because I’m busy these days. Then I think about it again, yes, I’m really busy these days. I have done a lot of things, moved to a new place, and a lot of things are still coming for me. But wait, do I really busy until I can’t spare a little time out for blogging?

 

I blogged, even when I had to sit for my final tomorrow; I blogged, even when I had shit loads of assignments waiting for me; I blogged, even when I hadn’t prepared for my presentation tomorrow. So why the fark I couldn’t do it now?

 

Because I have lost my passion.

 

I used to think: What should I blog today? What can I do with this picture? How can I improve my blog? These questions are out of my mind lately, and I don’t even visit my own blog and checked on other blogs daily, but I can go to Facebook like 138,098 times a day. Zz.

 

But still, I love blogging. Just like you found that you still love your girlfriend or boyfriend after one year although all the passion has gone and he or she always farts in front of you. However you don’t expect me to blog daily like I used to lah, just like you don’t like to hang out everyday with your girlfriend or boyfriend like you used to be anymore mah~

 

Anyway, the number of my posts may change; the length of my post may change, but one thing won’t change for sure,

 

 I was/ am / will still be an asshole in blogosphere.

(ya lah ya lah, I know some of you will say that I’m also an asshole in real life lah.)

Teacher is the best job ever

Posted by Jz on Friday, January 15, 2010 | comments (0)



Short talk:123

Sleeping is good for health, that’s why I do the healthy thing for whole day. LOL

 

 

 

Just read a post from Chris, about how good being a teacher is. Well, yes, I must agree that being a teacher WASN’T really a wise career to choose back to the time, but it doesn’t mean that the same label can be applied to this career NOW.

 

Although typical teachers do not have high social status, teachers nowadays enjoy a lot of benefits. Especially, when you’re working with government.

 

First, job guaranteed.

 

It’s not like you can be fired anytime if you’re working with government. It doesn’t matter if you’re a good teacher or a bad teacher, or if you give a damn on the students or not. As long as you finish the syllabus, you have done your job. Let’s say you’re a suck teacher, suck until like OMFG I DUN CARE BOUT U KIDS, the worst thing could happen on you is being transferred and that’s it.

 

Second, pay rise guaranteed.

 

Although starting salary isn’t very high, government employees enjoy above average pay rise every year. And among all of them, teacher enjoy the best pay rise. My secondary school English teacher has a salary of RM7,000/month, yes, he is near to the age of retirement now, but he started working in the teacher-sucks era. If you start working as a teacher now, imagine, how much is your salary after 30 years.

 

Third, less stressful.

 

As in you don’t give stress to yourself lah. You see, every teacher is given a well prepared syllabus, all they need to do is just teach, explain, and help the students to understand them. They don’t need to come up with marketing strategic, receive emergency calls during nights, or entertain customers. It’s not like they will be called to come up with their own syllabus, even knowing that you won’t be fired reduces your stress already lah.

 

Fourth, holidayss.

 

I’m not saying that teachers have a lot of holidays, but definitely, above average. Of course they have to attend some meetings and mark exam papers as well lah.

 

Fifth, it’s a meaningful job.

 

One teacher might deal with thousands of students in his life. They’re influencing the future of every one of the students directly, and the future of the country and the world indirectly! So who the heck says that being a teacher sucks? Can you make such a significant thing?

 

Sixth, there’re more female teachers than male’s.

 

So that means as a male teacher has more options than other guys! What!? This is the biggest benefit!

A healthier lifestyle

Posted by Jz on Thursday, January 14, 2010 | comments (0)



Short talk:123

Life is good when you have money, and my life isn’t very good now. LOL

 

 

 

This post is dedicated to my roommate, to thank him for improving my lifestyle. Why? Here are the comparisons  between my life before and after going to KL.

 

Before: I woke up at 12 if there’s no class.

Now: I wake up at 8-9 every morning.

 

Before: I ate whatever I want, and I enjoy fast foods.

Now: My foods are now 3000% healthier than before.

 

Before: The earliest time for sleeping was 2am.

Now: I slept at 10pm these days.

 

Before: I online whenever I’m free.

Now: I do exercises constantly.

 

Before: I played games.

Now: I read books.

 

Before: I enjoy love-action-movies.

Now: I can’t watch with his existence.

 

Ops sorry, the last one is a joke. Don’t ask me if you don’t understand what’s love-action-movies anyway. LOL

Finally I’m able to online!

Posted by Jz on Wednesday, January 13, 2010 | comments (2)



Short talk:123

I was so busy, and now I’m so free.

 

 

 

 

Yesh~ You’re not mistaken. I’m back after abandoning my blog for days. Again, it’s not what I wanted or did it purposely. One of the first few things I did after reaching KL was looking for a new internet service provider, and yes, I had enough of Streamyx.

 

The first one was P1Wimax.

 

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I was told that it’s faster, cheaper, and easiest (I share internet with my roommate as well, so with P1’s wireless modem I don’t have to buy a router).

 

But crap, it didn’t work as what the promoter told me. The red light kept blinking, even after I woke up in the next morning. So I called the promoter, he asked me to call their HQ after calling me to move the modem here and there and turn the modem to face here and there.

 

Their HQ was even more better, called me to move the modem for another time, and then said he couldn’t help me besides asking me to wait for their technician for 3 days. So I *censored* them, and they sent me their technician on that day.

 

‘Sorry, although your area is in high speed area, but all the buildings around here have blocked your signal. The only way is to terminate your account.’

 

That’s what I got, and an road idiot who is new to KL  like me was even asked to find their HQ myself to get my refund. Yet, they paid me in cheque which required me to bank in myself and wait for 3 days for the transaction.

 

After that, I tried DiGi Broadband. Since it will be definitely cheaper than other broadband.

 

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‘P1 is not using satellite, that’s why their signal can be blocked. But we’re! So the buildings do not matter. You’re in high speed area, we guarantee your speed will be 700kbps – 3.2mbps. But you have to buy the RM170 router for wireless lah of course.’

 

That’s what I was told by the promoter. Well, true, DiGi was fast, I got a 1.2mbps, in the kitchen. And get a 0kbps in my room. Wadafak? So that promoter came to my place and checked for me.

 

‘I don’t know, but there must be something wrong with this building, should be signal disturbance or something around this place. Only way is to terminate your account.’

 

I was seriously pissed. For another time, I had to find the DiGi centre, and wait 1-3 months for the cheque! My god, 200 bucks hanging on the sky.

 

With no better choice, I tried on Maxis Broadband.

 

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Whodafark told me that my room got the so-called ‘signal disturbance’! Maxis works just fine! With 1mbps! See, I’m now blogging with it!

 

Just that it’s 40% more expensive and with limited quota.. zzz…

Acting cute

Posted by Jz on Thursday, January 7, 2010 | comments (4)



Short talk:123

I got too many things to move to KL, I need a lorry.

 

 

 

 

Again, this will me another short post. What? I don’t care~

 

In the modern century we are living, acting cute is not a sin anymore.

 

Act cute; NUS 

Especially with the helps of social networks like Facebook and Friendster, those pictures can be easily found everywhere.

 

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This is not a bad thing for guys anyway, as we get to watch girls acting cute to enjoy ourselves. Of course, if the girl doesn’t look sorry.

 

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Anyway, I’m not here to criticize, I’m here to declare that:

Acting cute is not the right of girls anymore.

 

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Gosh, I look so cute. LOL!

KL’s toilet

Posted by Jz on Wednesday, January 6, 2010 | comments (2)



Short talk:123

Woke up at 8 purposely for SPM cert and renewing licence, but what the heck, none of them are done.

 

 

 

So this going to be another short post. Okay okay, I know I have been posting short posts recently and they’re really boring, I couldn’t help, I’m too lazy busy. What reason should I use this time? Oh ya, I’m moving to KL soon so I have pretty much of things to take care of.

 

I know it’s a bit fussy, but it’s kinda strange for a Penang kia like me to see this in KL.

 

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So I was wondering, how do the urinals there work? Wouldn’t they be smelly? After few hundred people pee on them everyday and don’t get washed by water?

 

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The so-called designer must have sense of humour I must say.

Ada hantu! Saya Takut!

Posted by Jz on Tuesday, January 5, 2010 | comments (3)



Short talk:123

Everything I need in KL is prepared, besides money. tsk.

 

 

 

 

For another time, fark the streamyx, internet has been unstable for the whole day and made my pictures failed to upload like 2,387 times.

 

So I guess I’ll just make a short one. I found this BM essay on Facebook.

 

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Certainly this person could write better BM essay than me. LOL

Movie: Avatar

Posted by Jz on Monday, January 4, 2010 | comments (1)



Short talk:123

Rounded and rounded and rounded in IICP, that’d be the last time perhaps.

 

 

 

People kept telling me that Avatar is nice, Avatar is awesome, Avatar is holy cow. So I gave a shot on this movie which its poster doesn’t really attract me as I don’t really like science fiction type of movies.

 

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In this movie, you can see the machines fighting with the monsters animals in an unknown planet.

 

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And the aliens orang asli’s of the planet ridding on so-called birds fighting with humans’ air units.

 

Avatar International

Yet, the protagonist can somehow turn into the alien and eventually decides to betray humanity fight for justice and turn his spear towards humans.

 

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However, for some reasons I feel that protagonist’s betrayal justice has something to do with the alien woman he fells in love with.

 

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So now you can even watch alien’s love story in this movie. LOL!

 

Full of suspenses right? This is not a spoiler so kindly watch the movie yourself, the movie has a really awesome storyline which makes it worth watching.

 

Oh ya, for chikopeks information, the alien women don’t wear much cloths. WOOO~!

Weight Reduction Ad

Posted by Jz on Saturday, January 2, 2010 | comments (0)



Short talk:123

Ate so much lately, not scaring of the fats, but my cholesterol level.

 

 

This is an advertisement I found on a magazine.

 

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What should I say? The advertisers nowadays are really stupid. Not to make useless assumptions without evidence like the pictures are fake, taken from others or whatever, but how long it would take?

 

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For the hair to grow this much? Yea yea please come up with pointless craps like she might have done hair extension or whatever, but it has already lost it’s power to persuade and convince others, which is the main purpose of an advertisement.

A story of 3 ma lat lou’s

Posted by Jz on Friday, January 1, 2010 | comments (3)



Short talk:123

Stayed at home for the whole day, being a good child is a great start of 2010.

 

 

 

On one Tuesday, one ma lat lou called another sleeping-is-his-hobby ma lat lou early in 5am.

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‘Zzzz… Wadafak you want!?’ 

 

1

 

  ‘Wake up! Ipoh got a Fok San Restaurant’

 

 

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 ‘Veeery famous one, now we go there eat dimsum.’

 

 

Therefore, three ma lat lou’s including another victim drove all the way from Penang island to Ipoh early in the morning for a dimsum.

 

However, none of the ma lat lou’s knew where is the restaurant. So they just randomly picked a direction based on their six sense and asked people around. Finally, after a turn, they saw:

 

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‘Eh? wa lang pun buey pai mah!’  

(eh? We’re not bad also mah!)  

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 ‘Ya loh! Like this also can reach.’

 

 

Well, immediately the three ma lat lou’s found that they were not that lucky right after they parked the car.

 

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 ‘LEH MAH CHEE~~ BYE!’

(*Censored*)